Friday, August 08, 2008

The nature to forgive one’s own has diminished. No more do we care about our fellow man. What is it we are living for? As those that were hold sacred have nothing but forced us to think in an ulterior way. Can we be forgiven to believe that nothing will ever change or is there still hope at the end of the tunnel? Questions that would have both motivated and not so motivated answers.

My mistakes have taken its toll and no more do I believe that any good will come out of it. There will be consequences. Some more complex than others. But will my alter ego allow me to apologize knowing I wasn’t wrong in my perspective? This was the reason I never opened up. This was the reason I kept shut, as most won’t have understood including you. And when I did, what did I get in return? The silent treatment.

Come on girl, I rather here you howl and cry than not your voice at all. It was you who wanted me to show you my dark side rather my weak side. I was washed away one fine morning like I never was there. I am still fornicating here. You were the one who wanted answers. And now that you got them, you don’t want to deal with them anymore. Who am I to tell you this? Well, absolutely nobody. No one at all.

Maybe I was asking for too much cause I thought you wanted to know. Probably I should have left the relationship to bare minimum like I had previously planned to do. It was you who open your soul and desires to me and asked me to do the same. Looks like it backfired. I will never be untrue, never ever treat you mean. But you did. Never cause you any kind of scene.

I don’t need a break from this, as when it lasted it was one of my few better times. I would love for it to go back to the beginning but I know that it just isn’t possible. You are hurt, you say. But, what about me? You didn’t even bother about my feelings. It was like I had none.

The concept of hope is flawed, I had told you once. But you insisted that I fight it on and hoped. All I hoped was you. For you to destroy it.

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